the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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