I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
