I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You've changed since you got that strap on
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