he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
