Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
