You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
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