You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
