You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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