just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
