Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
