Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Randomize
