Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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