so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
