Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
