Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
