I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
So. Much. Porn.
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