With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
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