How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
