Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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