i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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