Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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