we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
