Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
