i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
