Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
