Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
