I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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