Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
