I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
