Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
