Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
