My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
