he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
