my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I enjoy the company of your penis
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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