Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
