I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
