i dont even know how to be here
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
