How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
