I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
it's like iHOP with fire
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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