How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
