I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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