I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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