Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
