Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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