It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
