Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
