What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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