If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
