Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
