I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
